I hope this blog entry finds you in much better shape than I seem to be in. I am in a real funk as of late and try as might I have been unsuccessful in changing my "mind". I have not yet had the chance to complete the relaxation exercise but I will try when my 19 month old is sleeping tonight so for now I will discuss the first 3 questions.
All of my well-being aspects are a 3 or below right now. I am seriously stressed in all forms possible. I am finding that I cannot eat and when I force myself to do so I have at times become physical ill. I have headaches and musculoskeletal pain everyday and even when I take something like ibuprofen, which I abhor doing, it doesn't help. Spiritually I have been feeling less than fulfilled as I do not have many adult friends ( which also taps into psychological) that I connect with and many of the people I do know here are so self-absorbed I tend to stay away. I miss my family up North terribly and my husband is away again leaving me alone with a baby, running the house and tending to the animals. I feel like a caged animal who's keeper has left with the key. I am not normally a whiner in fact I am usually super perky and optimistic but those feelings have disappeared and not only is it puzzling it is also quite frightening.
My goal is to try to find the time to re prioritize my time/schedule and get back on track. I would like to start walking again with my son even if it is just around the block to breathe some fresh air and maybe even hear the rooster down the road or even crickets. I like crickets. I would like to also investigate maybe a Mommy and Me type program to hopefully find a new social network of like minded people. I am not so much of a religious person but I used to enjoy Tai-Chi as a form of exercise, relaxation and purpose. Maybe I should find that video tape or ...wait for it...get a new one, a DVD!
I found the Dacher (2006) reading, Chapter 5: Preparing the Ground interesting and I think maybe I should turn some of those loving-kindness principles inward. All I do know is I must do something and soon.Thank you for taking the time.
Be Well and Peace,
Robin
Dacher, E. (2006). Integral Health: The Path Human
Flourishing. Laguna Beach: Basic Heath Publications, Inc.
Robin, you are a textbook case for stress disorder. I know how it can be for a new mother and how trying a small baby can be. I would definitly try the relaxation techniques and may I add that it would not hurt the baby to lay with you while you listen. You have to set aside the frustration and focus on what makes you happy. Being overwhelmed is common with new parents especially when you find yourself alone doing it all. I have 11 children and my oldest is 23 and my youngest is 2. I lost my wife with our last child and believe me I felt as if i wanted to give up many, many times but my rearing and constitution would not allow it. You are stronger than you are giving yourself credit for.
ReplyDeleteGreg,
ReplyDeleteI want to apologize. I had no idea that you had suffered such a huge loss and my problems pale in comparison to many others such as you. I am deeply sorry for the post now.It simply was how I was feeling and I still do but I appreciate the kind words. I have tried to relax, more than you know, and I would never ever give up on my family but I am feeling school, after this term, might have to wait. Something has to give and I won't let it be my sanity or my health. Yes I am strong and this is not my first rodeo I have a 25 year old son also but my body and mind are sending me signals that are too loud to ignore. I wish for you all the peace, joy and comfort the world has to offer and thank you again.
Robin